Personal Log, Lt. Jen Lee

Stardate 9905.24

Jen walks down a white sand beach at sunset, dressed in a long white wrap-around skirt and white halter top. As she walks through the advancing and receding water, the wind gently blows her hair behind her. The sensations of the water and sand on her feet and the fading sunlight on her face calm her, and she can begin to sort out the feelings she has.

Stopping at the water's edge, she watches the waves roll in. ~~I'm so happy for Antonia ... she's gotten everything she's ever wanted in a man and more. I had kind of hoped I might be able to set her up with my brother, Scott, but seeing her with Liam ... I just can't imagine her with anyone else. They have a special love ... one that will endure the test of time. They respect eachother, love eachother unconditionally ... I pray I am that happy someday.~~

She resumes her stroll along the beach, every now and again picking up a shell or a rock. Sometimes she looks at it, then tosses it back, other times, she skims it along the ocean's surface. ~~I've had conflicting emotions lately too. I remember how I felt when I was rescued from the Fulians. The deep chasm that was left in my heart seeing T'Mar dead just before I dematerialized. I didn't think I could ever survive without him. Now, I don't know what those emotions actually were. They were real. I felt them deep within me. I don't think I was truly in love with T'Mar ... I only knew him for what? A week? Yes, we became close. We were forced together. I thought I loved him ... but now, I don't think so.~~

Jen walks up into the dunes to a cottage. She sits on the swing on the porch, looking over the water. Gently rocking in the chair, a smile spreads across her face, as her thoughts shift again. ~~I don't know if what I'm feeling is truly love, but I know it's a good thing. Alex has become such an important part of my life. I look forward to every minute we can spend together ... whether we get caught up on work, talk, play velocity, I get combat lessons ... doesn't matter. Just spending time with him does. His shift should be over soon ... I suppose I should get going.~~ She stands up, and exits the holodeck, saving the program as she goes.

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