Personal Log, Lt. Jen Lee

Stardate 9904.19

Jen is standing in her bedroom, next to the bed. Ophelia is looking up at her from the center of the bed. Very slowly, with tears streaming silently from her eyes, Jen removes the teal dress she is wearing. She remembers the good times she had with T'Mar, who had procured it for her. He said it offset nicely with her black hair and violet eyes. She slowly and reverently folds the dress, and fingers the now dry blood spots on it. The blood is from T'Mar, who had taken a phaser shot meant for her. She places the dress into a sealing bag, and puts it in her closet on the top shelf.

She then goes into the bathroom, and starts the water shower. As steam begins filling the room, she removes the rest of her clothing in preparation for bathing. She looks at herself in the mirror. Her hair is disheveled, and she looks pale, the whites of her eyes pink from crying. The bright gold necklace about her neck shines in the harsh lighting. She leans toward the mirror more, looking better at the amulet. Of a simple design, it is shaped like a cresent moon, with what appears to be diamond like gems embedded in the tips of the moon.

T'Mar had told her that everyone in his family had one. By wearing it, she was making a statement of being of his family. Though promised to him, they had not had a chance to make things official before his death. She decides that she will never take the necklace off. It will be a constant reminder of T'Mar, and the love they only began to have.

She steps into the shower stall, not even feeling the scalding hot water. With automatic motions she goes about the business of cleaning herself. She steps from the stall, turns off the water, and briskly towels herself off. Though her tears have stopped, her heart is still broken. She goes back to the bedroom, and dresses in an oversized T-shirt for bed. She brushes her hair out, not even paying attention to her actions. Her mind is back on the Fulian holodeck, running through the blue grass with T'Mar.

She then goes to the living area, and replicates a glass of tea. Hot mug in hand, she goes and sits on the couch, her knees drawn up to her chest, arms about her knees, clasping the mug. No sound is heard except for the hum of the warp engines. Jen's eyes are far away, thinking of her days with the Fulians. And, of course, of her friend, who was becoming so much more than a friend, T'Mar. Absently, she sips her tea, and runs her fingers around her neck. She halfway expects to find the collar still there. Instead, she finds T'Mar's necklace. With a wistful smile, she rises, and drops her mug in the reclimator. Calling for lights out, she crawls into bed and cries herself to sleep.